thenewlama
Split End
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 1166
Loc: Nirvana
|
|
This thread is clearly overdue - the rules for taser use need to be defined - and I know of no other collection of minds more worthy than this forum.
The premise is that we identify potentially tase worthy situations/individuals that we encounter in our lives and the group debates the merit. From this we can have some good guidelines on who gets stung.
Hopefully our efforts will be recognized by some licensing board and we'll all get tasers and the authority to use 'em.
My first suggestion is the taser be equipped with two settings - one level would be "Knock it Off Bozo" for people who engage in rude, obnoxious, and annoying behavior. It would be enough of a shock to modify their behavior and get their attention but not a max jolt. The second setting would be "Drop and Flop" - this would be for idiots whose moronic behavior endangers the property and well being of others.
An example of a Level 1 might be a drunken clown who drops F Bombs at Beaver Stadium when he's got small children around him.
A Level 2 (from my life) is this motorcycle driver I see on my way to work who passes people on the shoulder, on double yellows, on entrance ramps, and between cars on a two lane highway.
POWER UP NF FOOTBALL TASE PATROL
--------------------
You can't stop what's coming, it ain't all waiting on you, that's vanity
|
psu_dad
Hall of Famer
Reged: 08/11/04
Posts: 9039
Loc: People's Republic of Massachus...
|
|
Anyone who gets in front of me at the Xpress Checkout line with a shopping cart full of crap while I just want pay for my bread and milk and Get The Hell Home is a Level 1. If they compound this with the following ...
(1) Stand there like a knucklehead while their order is being rung up, oblivious to the fact that they have to pay for it.
(2) Wait until they're presented with a total to fish the payment out of their purse.
(3) Pull out a checkbook and take an hour to fill it out ... including updating the ledger.
... then they're upgraded to Level 2.
Mrs psu_dad: Why did you make that a Level 2?
Me: Because there was no Level 3.
--------------------
Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us?
|
Blue&White
Hall of Famer
Reged: 10/17/03
Posts: 17448
Loc: Right here
|
|
Wearing a Pitt football t-shirt: "Knock if off, Bozo"
Wearing a ND football t-shirt: "Drop and flop"
--------------------
I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
|
Joepa Turtle
Lion Grand Poohbah
Reged: 09/21/06
Posts: 2191
Loc: Boston, MA USA
|
|
If they say "Don't tase me, bro!" then it's already too late. Minimum stage 1.
--------------------
The trouble is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. -MT
|
psuro
Hall of Famer
Reged: 10/27/03
Posts: 12122
|
|
Level 2 Candidates:
Anyone who demonstrate the inability to drive safely, especially when I am on my motorcycle. Special mention to the jerk who honks his horn when I pass in between cars during a traffic jam, because he does not realize that motorcycles have air cooled engines, and not liquid cooled engines like his rusted out minivan, and hence will quickly overheat if the bike is stuck in traffic for too long. Actually, that guy is deserving of two jolts.
People with multiple kids in the public school system. Probably should have jolted them before they had the second kid, but sometimes these laws come by too late. Whaddya gonna do?
Major League Baseball. If you strike out, you get tased. Simply because I think it would make the game more fun, and it would actually draw my attention.
Ohio State Fans. Because urine filled balloons are too good for them.
Iowa fans. See "Ohio State Fans".
Tony Hayward and Carl Henric Svanberg - One shot to each of you from the "small people" for you two putzes. Actually, two shots each.
Lady Gaga. Don't really want to, but feel like I owe it to her.
Level 1 Candidates:
None. I am in this to go for the kill.
.
--------------------
"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls....and tenement halls".
|
gmay10
Offensive Coordinator
Reged: 10/09/05
Posts: 1145
Loc: Mt. Joy, Pa
|
|
Level 1:
Parents who call me 3/4 through the year and wonder if their kid is ready for middle school when they should have figured things out when I was face to face with them in November during our parent conference.
Parents who tell me that little Jonny never brings homework home. Even though I told them at Parent Night and it is listed on my website that little Johnny will have to read 15 pages every night and write a summary- This may fit into the level 2 category depending on the parent.
Level 2:
Any pro athlete that steps out of line during a game or during their spare time shall be tased multiple times depending on the offense.
Vince Young- 2 times for his fight at the strip club
Michael Vick- 3 times for having a huge birthday bash and inviting his former friend who is a felon like him. And lets give him 3 extra charges for the dogs- Where my dawgs at?
Big Ben- let the girl tase him until he actually looks sorry
That is just my quick list but I am sure I could go on especially with the politicians
|
Joepa Turtle
Lion Grand Poohbah
Reged: 09/21/06
Posts: 2191
Loc: Boston, MA USA
|
|
I can't decide if it should be Lady Gaga stage 2 and her fans stage 1 or the other way around. If there were no fans then we'd be rid of her. Er, it.
--------------------
The trouble is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. -MT
|
psu_dad
Hall of Famer
Reged: 08/11/04
Posts: 9039
Loc: People's Republic of Massachus...
|
|
Definitely the other way around. They need as much electro-shock as they can get. It could only help.
--------------------
Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us?
|
Joepa Turtle
Lion Grand Poohbah
Reged: 09/21/06
Posts: 2191
Loc: Boston, MA USA
|
|
So, what if it's discovered that the tasing actually has beneficial effects, like it alleviates their ADD or something? What then? I guess having them serve as guinea pigs would be ok.
--------------------
The trouble is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. -MT
|
PennState03Chris
Running Back By Committee
Reged: 11/19/03
Posts: 3285
Loc: Princeton, NJ
|
|
Level 1
Behavior that exhibits a general lack of awareness of surroundings. One of my pet peeves is those who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, then don't realize that they should move them when others are trying to get by.
Those who are basically clueless (aloof), but in a harmless way. For example, tourists in NYC who stand in the middle of the sidewalks staring at storefronts, or staring straight up at skyscrapers. Another example would be the person using the self check-out option at stores, but completely lack the intelligence or mind to figure out how to work it.
Level 2
Ohio State Buckeye fans.
Supporters of Sarah Palin for president in 2012.
Facebook "friends" who use it as a forum to air everything about their lives. I don't care that little Mindy has the sniffles, or that you finally finished your needle point pillow case.
All of the idiot drivers in this area (which, I've figured, is about 80% of them). Tase-able driving offenses include, but are not limited to: Driving at least 25% under the given speed limit, pulling out in front of me to the point that I have to slam on my brakes (especially when I'm the only one in sight), tailgating (especially when I'm going a few mph OVER the speed limit, OR when they can very easily pass me on one side or the other), merging across multiple lanes on a highway, those who pay no attention to yield signs ("Here I come! Get outta my way!"), those who refuse to use their turn signals, those who cross over into another lane when going around a bend or curve, and, finally, those who can't seem to park their car between the lines.
And, just for good fun, kids who spend more money putting racing springs/shocks and a loud tailpipe on their car (almost always a Honda Civic) than the car itself is actually worth.
--------------------
HAIL! to the Lion, loyal and true.
HAIL! Alma Mater, with your white and blue
|
psuro
Hall of Famer
Reged: 10/27/03
Posts: 12122
|
|
More Level 2 Taseworthy:
Tim Curley for setting up a 3 game series with Syracuse. Really Tim? I can understand when they were a 10 win a season team, but....now? Really?
--------------------
"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls....and tenement halls".
|
thenewlama
Split End
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 1166
Loc: Nirvana
|
|
Here's a Level 1
My condo property is near the local municipal pool, so alot of cars park in front of our property, minor hassle but not a real big deal.
The tase is for all the jerks who throw their garbage (drink and food containers) on the street and sidewalk - as if somehow when you're going swimming, it just makes sense to throw all your trash on the street or on someone's lawn rather than taking to the trash at the pool or your home.
--------------------
You can't stop what's coming, it ain't all waiting on you, that's vanity
|
psu_dad
Hall of Famer
Reged: 08/11/04
Posts: 9039
Loc: People's Republic of Massachus...
|
|
Major pet peeve of mind and definitely taser-worthy.
It's more than just sloppiness, it's an act of inconsideration. Make no mistake, these people are sending out a subtle message when they do that, i.e., "I'm not going to inconvenience myself even in the slightest when I can simply impose on you instead."
I know some people consider it a minor nuisance, but I'd be mortified if I saw one of my sons doing that. To me, it's a very strong indicator of how well/poorly you were raised.
--------------------
Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us?
|
appoo
Hall of Famer
Reged: 10/20/03
Posts: 15499
|
|
Level 1
As a professional desk weenie, my primary form of contact with human life outside my office is through email. Mass emails are the way to go. I use GMail as my email source, and I love how it organizes anything. It groups all chain messages into one line, based on the subject line. The problem? Well one of my friends work servers decides to toss in a new "EXTERNAL" onto the subject line now...creating a new subject, which means a new line in GMail.
Taseworthy!
|
thenewlama
Split End
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 1166
Loc: Nirvana
|
|
Level 2
People at work who don't flush
People who figure that when they attend friendly gatherings that supervision and monitoring of their small children becomes a shared group responsibility - to be shared by everyone but them
--------------------
You can't stop what's coming, it ain't all waiting on you, that's vanity
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
